Are You Firing Them Right or Shaming Them?

You need to terminate someone. Haven’t documented anything. No action plan. No HR consultation. Call them into office. Say: we’re firing you because your behavior just hasn’t been fixed and you’re just not good employee for us. You’ve literally just shamed that person. Different from doing it right. You’re being terminated because after extensive alignment and development with you, we together haven’t found way to align culturally and we together are not good fit and this isn’t working in position and we’re 100% certain that you would be happier somewhere else and that this is best for company and you’re being terminated as such because we respect you and respect ourselves. That’s lot different message than shaming them personally. Then shut up. Do not say anything else. Cannot start rambling on. Just going to make situation worse. Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. Once it’s done, work from there. Answer factual questions. Get paperwork done. HR can coach you. Listen to what they have to say. Cover anything essential. Wrap it up graciously. Make sure professional. Stick to facts. Anchor back to respect for people. Do not under any circumstances get emotional. That’s pattern for how to terminate somebody. Problem is we keep people in unhappy situations because we think it’s about punishment. Anchor it back to punishment too often when it’s just not about that. Don’t do it right. Don’t get documentation. Get emotional. Don’t shut up after saying facts. Don’t let person have their reaction. However they react has nothing to do with us. That’s their life.

Here’s what most leaders miss. They think terminating someone is punishment. So they avoid it. Keep people in wrong positions. Everyone unhappy. Team suffers. Person suffers. Or they finally do it but shame person. Fire them because behavior hasn’t been fixed. Fire them because they’re not good employee. Fire them because they’re problem. That’s shaming. That’s punishment mindset. Different from respect mindset. This person not going to be happy. Even though they don’t currently have perspective allowing them to resign or quit, it’s my job to enable them right environment so they can live remarkable life. If that takes me making hard decisions and having hard conversations, so be it. Not punishment. Respect. We together haven’t found way to align culturally. We together are not good fit. You would be happier somewhere else. This is best for company and for you. Because we respect you and respect ourselves. That’s respect mindset. That’s doing it right.

The challenge is most leaders never learned how to terminate properly. They think it’s about punishment so they avoid it until can’t avoid it anymore. Then do it emotionally without documentation. Or they shame person. Or they ramble on trying to sugarcoat after saying facts. Or they don’t let person process. Start talking immediately. Get themselves in trouble. Different from leader who prepared. Talked to HR. Created action plan with specific consequences. Wrote down exactly what to say. Rehearsed before meeting. Said two very factual contextual sentences. Then shut up. Let silence sit. Let person process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. Answered factual questions. Wrapped it up graciously. Professional. Stuck to facts. Anchored to respect. Never got emotional. That’s terminating someone right. That’s respecting them enough to invite them to go somewhere else where they’ll be happier.

It’s All About Respect, Not Punishment

Whether it’s teaching, coaching, setting clear expectations, consequences, writing somebody up, repositioning somebody, getting them on different seat on bus or terminating them, it’s all about respect.

Respect for people concept is really big because if we go at anything from mental mindset of punishment, we’re just gonna fail. We’re not gonna do it. Actually, lot of us are so sweet that we’re not even gonna do it.

If we say we have to fire somebody and base it on thought that possibly it comes from punishment standpoint, we’re just not gonna do it and we’re not gonna do it successfully.

So we have to really prep ourselves and get in state and remind ourselves: this person is not gonna be happy. And even though they don’t currently have perspective that will allow them to resign or quit, it’s my job to enable them right environment so that they can live remarkable life. If that takes me making hard decisions and having hard conversations, then so be it.

Documentation and Action Plans First

Always talk to your human resources department. They’ll know what to do. They have really good training, and they can anchor back to other professionals.

When you do action plan, write down specific consequences. If we can’t get this figured out, then this position is not working, and we’ll have to either look at role or repositioning you into different role or termination. There’s nothing wrong with that.

This is about respect. This is about not wasting people’s time. You can even say: I am here so that I don’t waste your time. I want you to live remarkable life, and I care about you personally. Right now, with your skills in this position, something’s not matching up. If we can’t get there, it has nothing to do with you.

Some companies tolerate certain things. Hey, this is who you are. I’m not here to say that’s bad. I’m just saying that we have to match company culture with you and who you are, and I know there are companies out there that will love to have your skills. We just have to see if we’re match, and I’m going to find that out so that I don’t waste any of your time where you could be in organization that’s happy or where you could be happier here and we have more alignment.

Make sure that you set those specific consequences. Just be open about it.

Questions Before Terminating

When it becomes point where it’s like, this is not going to work, ask yourself these questions. You can get these questions from book Beyond Entrepreneurship 2.0:

• Does their position hold potential for high risk if it’s not executed properly?
• Does their position have potential for high returns for customer satisfaction or financially if it was done well?
• Is their position on team affecting rest of company or team?
• How would you feel if they left tomorrow?
• Would you hire them again?

These are really good questions to determine if it’s just time.

Other most important question: have you given everything and looked at everything but them and their behavior before you totally blamed it on their behavior? Then you can really be confident in your decision.

How to Actually Terminate: Say Facts, Then Shut Up

When you meet with that person, and typically you might want to have somebody else there, not just as witness but to make sure you’re doing it right, say: okay, we’ve decided to terminate your position and to part ways. This is based on premise that we together are not cultural fit or we’re terminating that position or because we just haven’t met our goals, we feel like we’d be happier somewhere else. But 100%, this is final decision. So what we need to talk about now is what we do from here.

Go ahead and break perceived bad news in logical and factual way. State reason for termination in just few sentences and then tell person directly that they’ve been terminated.

Now, you’ll want to start talking. Don’t. Say two sentences and let there be silence. Let that person process. Don’t start sugarcoating. Don’t start doing all blah blah blah. You’re going to get yourself in trouble if you do that.

Rehearse this before you start it. Say two very factual contextual sentences.

Here’s difference: we’re firing you because your behavior just hasn’t been fixed and you’re just not good employee for us. You’ve literally just shamed that person.

But let me reword it: you’re being terminated because after extensive alignment and development with you, we together haven’t found way to align culturally and we together are not good fit and this isn’t working in position and we’re 100% certain that you would be happier somewhere else and that this is best for company and you’re being terminated as such because we respect you and respect ourselves.

That’s lot different message than shaming them personally.

But once you say those two sentences, shut up. Do not say anything else. You cannot start rambling on. It’s just going to make situation worse.

Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. Let them whatever and then once it’s done, you can work from there. You can answer their factual questions. Get all paperwork done. HR can coach you.

Listen to what they have to say. Cover anything essential and then wrap it up graciously and make sure that it’s professional and that you stick to facts and anchor it back to respect for people and what is factually going on. Do not under any circumstances get emotional.

The System Failed You

Let’s be clear. When leaders avoid terminating people or do it wrong, it’s not entirely their fault. The system failed by teaching termination is punishment. Nobody showed that it’s actually respect. Enabling them right environment so they can live remarkable life elsewhere. Nobody explained that if that takes making hard decisions and having hard conversations, so be it. The system taught avoid firing people when actually respect them enough to invite them to go somewhere else where they’ll be happier.

The system also failed by not teaching to document and create action plans first. If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow. Always talk to HR. They have good training. When you do action plan, write down specific consequences. If we can’t get this figured out, position not working, we’ll look at repositioning or termination. This about not wasting people’s time. The system taught wing it when actually prepare documentation and action plans.

The system fails by not teaching how to actually terminate. Say two very factual contextual sentences. Then shut up. Do not say anything else. Cannot start rambling on. Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. We’re firing you because your behavior hasn’t been fixed is shaming them. You’re being terminated because after extensive alignment we together haven’t found way to align culturally and you would be happier somewhere else is respecting them. The system taught say whatever comes to mind when actually rehearse two factual sentences, say them, then shut up.

The Challenge

Here’s your assignment. Stop avoiding terminations or doing them wrong. Start respecting people enough to enable them to go where they’ll be happier.

Change mental mindset from punishment to respect. This person not going to be happy. Even though they don’t have perspective allowing them to resign, it’s your job to enable them right environment so they can live remarkable life. If that takes making hard decisions and having hard conversations, so be it. Not punishment. Respect.

Document and create action plans first. Always talk to HR. They know what to do. Write down specific consequences. If we can’t get this figured out, position not working, we’ll look at repositioning or termination. Be open about it. This about not wasting their time. Want them to live remarkable life. Care about them personally.

Ask questions before terminating. Does position hold potential for high risk? High returns? Is position affecting rest of team? How would you feel if they left tomorrow? Would you hire them again? Most important: have you given everything and looked at everything but them before totally blaming their behavior?

Rehearse what you’ll say. Two very factual contextual sentences. You’re being terminated because after extensive alignment and development, we together haven’t found way to align culturally and we together are not good fit and this isn’t working and we’re 100% certain you would be happier somewhere else and this is best for company and for you because we respect you and respect ourselves.

Say those two sentences. Then shut up. Do not say anything else. Cannot start rambling on. Let silence sit. Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. However they react has nothing to do with you. That’s their life.

Once done, answer factual questions. Get paperwork done. Listen to what they have to say. Cover anything essential. Wrap it up graciously. Make sure professional. Stick to facts. Anchor to respect for people. Do not get emotional.

When somebody needs to be respected enough to be invited to go somewhere else, get it done. Make yourself little checklist. Write things down. Practice ahead of time. Follow what you’ve written. Always contact HR.

At end of day we love and cherish and adore and respect people and that is why we make these decisions.

On we go.

FAQ

Why is termination about respect, not punishment?

If we go at anything from mental mindset of punishment, we’re just gonna fail. Not gonna do it successfully. Have to prep ourselves: this person not gonna be happy. Even though they don’t have perspective allowing them to resign, it’s my job to enable them right environment so they can live remarkable life. If that takes hard decisions and hard conversations, so be it. Not punishment. Respect.

What questions should you ask before terminating?

Does position hold potential for high risk if not executed properly? Does position have potential for high returns if done well? Is position affecting rest of team? How would you feel if they left tomorrow? Would you hire them again? Most important: have you given everything and looked at everything but them before blaming their behavior?

How do you actually terminate someone?

Rehearse two very factual contextual sentences. You’re being terminated because after extensive alignment we together haven’t found way to align culturally and we together are not good fit and this isn’t working and we’re 100% certain you would be happier somewhere else and this is best for company and for you. Say those sentences. Then shut up. Do not say anything else. Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond.

What’s wrong with saying “we’re firing you because your behavior hasn’t been fixed”?

You’ve literally just shamed that person. Different from: you’re being terminated because after extensive alignment we together haven’t found way to align culturally and you would be happier somewhere else because we respect you. That’s lot different message than shaming them personally. Anchor to respect for people, not punishment.

What should you do after saying the termination sentences?

Shut up. Do not say anything else. Cannot start rambling on. Just going to make situation worse. Let them process. Let them get emotional. Let them respond. However they react has nothing to do with you. That’s their life. Once done, answer factual questions. Get paperwork done. Wrap up graciously. Stay professional. Stick to facts. Do not get emotional.