Thoughtless Requests

Thoughtless Requests: What They Are and Why We Need to Stop Making Them

There are a lot of things we do in construction that seem small in the moment but they add up to frustration, waste, and dysfunction on the jobsite. One of the most subtle but destructive behaviors I see over and over is what I call thoughtless requests.

Whether it’s a lazy ask, a selfish move, or just forgetting to say “please,” these moments reflect a deeper cultural issue in our industry. And if we don’t start fixing it, we’re going to keep grinding down the people we rely on most.

What Do I Mean by Thoughtless Requests?

They usually fall into two buckets:

1. Truly Thoughtless

These aren’t malicious they just lack consideration.

• A supervisor says, “Put this in a different format and come back,” just because they don’t want to think through the problem.
• A manager tells you, “Can you make Takt look like CPM for me?” even though it defeats the whole point.

These asks kill momentum and create busy work. People end up chasing tasks that add no value.

2. Selfish

These are driven by someone wanting to save time, money, or effort at the expense of everyone else.

• “Can we just skip the precon?”
• “Let’s not send out a complete package. We don’t have time.”
• “We’re not budgeting for Takt planning right now.”

These aren’t small shortcuts. They push responsibility downstream and make it someone else’s mess. I’ve seen it too many times: the people with the most influence opt out, and the team suffers.

And It Gets Worse…

It’s not just the requests themselves it’s how we deliver them.

When I was a laborer on site, almost no one said “please” or “thank you.”
Now, when I consult for GCs, I get emails that feel like commands. I’ve been on calls with developers who just bark orders: “Do this. Change that.” No warmth, no pause just entitlement.

We need to reintroduce respect and gratitude into how we speak.

Every request no matter how small should be rooted in consent, not control.
A simple “Will you please…?” and “Thank you” goes a long way.

A Quick Detour on Big Families (and Human Decency)

Let me share something personal.

When people find out my wife and I have a large family, the responses aren’t always kind.
The jokes: “Do you know how that happens?”
The judgmental glances.
The sarcastic comments.

They’re not funny they’re alienating.

Here’s the only right response when someone says they’re having a child whether it’s their first or their fifth:
“Congratulations. That’s awesome.”

It’s not just about parenting it’s about decency.
The way we treat people in small moments reveals who we are.

Final Thought: Be Thoughtful. Always.

Before you send that email…
Before you make that ask…
Before you push a task downstream…

Pause.
Ask yourself:

• Is this considerate?
• Is it worth their time?
• Is it respectful?

Because in construction, just like in life, we’re not just building structures we’re building people. And that starts with how we treat them every single day.

Key Takeaway:
Stop making lazy or selfish requests. Every ask should be thoughtful, respectful, and value-adding. And never underestimate the power of a genuine “please” and “thank you.”