Building Grit & Resilience, Feat. Stephanie Wood & Jordan Leytem

I walked into this conversation with Jordan and Steph expecting a good discussion about resilience. What I got instead was a blueprint for how leaders in construction can change lives, starting with their own.

Steph set the stage. She and her husband built CoBuild eleven years ago in the Bay Area. She came from organizational leadership, he came from construction. Together, they made a promise: their company would not chew people up and spit them out like so many others in the industry. She had watched too many superintendents burn out and carry that pain home. So she dug into the research. Dan Siegel. Stephen Porges. The science of stress and attachment. What she found was simple but powerful. Each of us has a “window of tolerance.” Inside that window we think clearly, problem solve, and connect. Outside it, we spiral into fight or flight, or worse, collapse. Resilience is the ability to return to that window quickly. Grit is the ability to widen it.

Jordan brought it to life with raw honesty. He had been the young superintendent who snapped under pressure. Fire drills, deadlines, owners breathing down his neck, he would lose his cool and burn bridges. Looking back, he admits, “It wasn’t the problem. It was my reaction to the problems.” He told a story of berating a foreman who resisted weekend work. The foreman finally broke and said, “I just want Saturdays with my wife and kids.” Jordan still feels the sting of that moment. It wasn’t about the work. It was about a dysregulated leader pouring stress into someone else’s life.

That is when Steph explained the practices they have built at CoBuild. They begin meetings by naming emotions. No long stories, just two words. I feel anxious. I feel hopeful. I feel frustrated. Naming feelings changes brain chemistry. It pulls people back into their window. The first time a tough group of superintendents and foremen do it, outsiders are shocked. But the results are undeniable. Tension drops. Honesty grows.

Jordan tested it with one of his supers this week. The project was full of ambiguity and the super was clearly dysregulated. Instead of diving into the issues, Jordan asked, “How are you feeling?” The super named it. The room shifted. Together they calmly built a plan instead of reacting in chaos.

The impact goes beyond the jobsite. Jordan used to struggle with diabetes, high blood pressure, and a racing heart. Since applying these practices, his health markers have stabilized. Same workload, same stressors but a different nervous system response. This is what Steph calls true grit and resilience. Not suppressing feelings, but metabolizing them. Not pretending to be tough, but staying healthy enough to keep leading.

I left the conversation realizing something. For all the books and courses on scheduling, budgets, and contracts, the most powerful skill a superintendent can learn is how to regulate themselves and help others do the same. With that, they can build people up instead of tearing them down.

Key Takeaway
Resilience in construction is not about pushing harder. It is about staying inside your window of tolerance, naming your emotions, and leading people as people. When leaders master this, they build healthier projects and healthier lives.