Respect For People!

It’s Not About Obedience: Why We Don’t Understand Respect for People

We do not even come close to respecting people or understanding what that concept means. Jason’s not being insulting. He’s not trying to criticize. He’s just saying we have a long way to go. And this is what hit him the other day.

First, there was an LCI presentation on respect for people. They got into in-depth concepts about really seeing people and how the Japanese look at respect for people and what that means from a cultural standpoint. It was on Jason’s mind. But then something happened at church. One of Jason’s children put his head into his hands and slumped down because he was bored or disinterested or whatever. Jason sent him a text: “Hey, Schroeder, sit up. Please sit up. There’s a speaker up there.” Then he thought about it for a second and it hit him all of a sudden. We in the United States are like “Dad, why are you punishing me? Why are you trying to take my freedom? What’s the big deal? Why can’t I do what I want?”

At the end of the day, it’s about respect. Why do we not put our head in our hands while somebody is speaking? It isn’t because we’ve lost freedom. It isn’t because we need to obey. It isn’t because we’re constrained. It’s because we respect the human being who has put their heart and soul into that talk and is prepared. That’s why we show them that respect and provide that energy.

Jason realized his son, because of him and because of our culture, and he’s not blaming someone else, the first person responsible is him, if his son had been taught to respect people, he wouldn’t have done that. Then Jason was watching Pacific Rim with his kids. There was a part where the character Mako wants to co-pilot one of these Jaegers that fight the Kaiju with somebody else. She keeps being told by the commander no, that she can’t do it. She pushes a little bit, but not too much. The other co-pilot says “You don’t have to obey all of these orders. You don’t have to just do what somebody else says.”

And she says: “It’s not about obedience. It’s about respect.” Immediately, again, that was another warning to Jason’s mind that says we do not understand respect. In the United States, we just think it’s about being constrained. It’s about obedience. It’s about these things. No. It’s about respect. We need to explore and start our journey to understand what respect for people really means.

What Respect Actually Looks Like in Practice

In Japanese culture, Paul Akers has talked about how they will receive your credit card on a little plate. They handle your payment with reverence. They bow. They show honor to the person in front of them, not because they’re forced to, but because respect for people is woven into the culture.

Here’s where it gets practical in construction and in life. Jason was talking to his wife Katie about welfare and about people that come and ask for help. And Jason said he has a rule. His rule for giving welfare, for helping people, is that he has to give them a hand up, not a handout.

When somebody comes to them and says “I need help with this or that,” he doesn’t just write them a check. He’s never done that. When people come to him for finances, they go back to the fundamentals. They say “Okay, let’s pull up your budget. Let’s look at a debt repayment schedule. Let’s see where every single dollar goes. Let’s get you on a path to success.” Katie asked him why. She said “Why are you so much of a hardliner on that? Why can’t you just, you know, help them, make them happy, send them on their way?”

And it hit him: respect. If Jason had a family member or if he personally was going through difficulties, which they have, they drove old vehicles, they lived in crappy houses, all the things. If it wasn’t good enough, or if it was good enough for him to do with his family, why isn’t it good enough to do with somebody else? He would never just write his family a check.

So why would he do that and disrespect somebody else? The reason they go back to fundamentals and they debt stack and they budget and they ask family for help and they see what government resources there are instead of just cutting somebody a check with welfare is because they respect them. It’s not about punishment. In the United States, the disease, the non-medical pandemic that we have in this country, is this disease of thinking that everything’s about punishment and that we’re victims. It’s not the case. We need to get back to this concept of respect.

Every Decision Can Be Answered With Respect for People

Let’s go through a couple of examples. Why do we build nice lunchrooms on site when back 10 years ago they didn’t do that? Because we respect people. Why do we get nice restrooms or at least porta potties where we clean them three times a week with hand wash stations? Because we respect people. It’s not a business decision. It’s not a money decision.

Well, Jason, if you’re going to do those nice things, why do you send people home for safety violations? Because I respect people. I’m not punishing them. Why do I turn people away from the hoist or the delivery access ways if they’re not on time? Because I respect the other people who are delivering their materials on time and are in the queue in the schedule. Why do you make crews clean up right away with perfect cleanliness and shut down the crew if they don’t? Are you punishing them? No. I respect them and the people around them and I want them to be taken care of.

Every single decision that we make, there’s no question you could give Jason anywhere, any shape or form. He doesn’t care how long the question was. He doesn’t care how complex. You couldn’t give him a question that he couldn’t properly answer, and he’s saying me, you, any of us, you couldn’t give us a question that we couldn’t properly answer with the concept of respect for people.

It’s just not possible. You can literally do that with anything that you come up against, anything you face. Usually we’re like “Let’s decide this or that based on whether or not I should punish this person or feel guilty about it.” No. “We should base this on whether or not it’s profitable.” No, that’s not a good decider. “We should base this on whether or not I want to do it.” No, that’s not a good decider. We should base this on what, at the core base, bottom, at the fundamental level, respects other human beings. And that will always lead you to the right decision.

The Hard Decisions Become Easy With Respect

If somebody’s not a cultural fit in a company, do I fire them or do I keep them? Well, what would be the most respectful thing for them? It would be to let them go and to go somewhere else where they could be happy and become a cultural fit. What’s the most respectful thing in that situation for the people that are cultural fits? It’s to make sure that we only have cultural fits and that we don’t have people that are cancerous or destructive to our environment.

So I am going to terminate that employee once I’ve gone through Adam Hoots’ phases of development where I’m teaching, I’m coaching, I’m giving warnings, I’m setting clear expectations. Literally, no decision is too tough. You can say “What would Jesus do?” You can say “Let’s pray about it.” You can say “Let’s go through this decision making process. Let’s counsel about it. Let me ask my wife, my husband, whatever.” But at the end of the day, if you aren’t asking the right question, you’re not going to get the right answer.

Asking the Right Question Gets the Right Answer

Here’s a little pet peeve of Jason’s that illustrates the point. Sometimes in trainings, they ask people for feedback. Quite frankly, they get really good feedback. And every now and then they get 5% that’s really dumb feedback. Like somebody will say “Oh, I wish I had this kind of topping for the food.” Or “I wish you would have told me days ahead of time how hard this was going to be” when they obviously already did that. Or somebody complaining about some silly little logistical thing. Or “I didn’t like the training because on my end, my computer internet didn’t work.”

That’s not really good feedback, but Jason asked a stupid question. He just asked for general feedback. But if he had asked a different question, it would have gotten a different answer. The question he should have asked was “Was this training impactful to your understanding of [specific topic]?” And he’ll get a better answer. He’s been doing that more often and it works.

Here are the questions we should be asking ourselves in different situations:

• When praying: am I being very specific and asking the right question so I get the right answer, or am I asking vague general questions?
• When talking to parents, family, or children: am I asking a specific question so I’ll get a specific answer, or am I being unclear?
• In any situation: are we very specific about the parameters of success and are we asking the right questions?

The question we should ask ourselves is: what in this scenario ultimately ends up respecting other human beings the most? That will always get us back to where we need to be. All decisions should be made out of respect for people instead of the current United States culture of punishment. It’s not about obedience. It’s not about punishment. It’s about respect.

We Use People as Tools to Be Expended

Usually we accidentally use people as tools to be expended. If you don’t believe Jason, check this out. When is the last time that your company just dispatched a bunch of people into a barn burner project at the expense of their families? When is the last time in our industry you saw workers working without adequate facilities? When was the last time you asked a crew to work past their capacity in unsafe situations? When was the last time, and you can just go example after example after example. We do not respect people. We use them as tools to be expended, to be exploited.

If we’re even going to begin to take our Takt journey, our lean journey, our Last Planner journey, our scrum journey, our continuous improvement and our flow journey, and just our operational excellence journey, if we’re going to take any of our steps forward, then we have to do it based on the fundamental principle of respect for people. The definition of lean is: one, respect for people and resources; two, stable environments that create flow; three, total participation with visual systems; and four, continuous improvement and fanatical quality.

But at the base, all of this, the whole structure falls without the foundation of respect for people. And Jason will level with you: he doesn’t even understand it the way he should. He hasn’t even begun to understand it. This isn’t a “Jason thinks he knows something” podcast. This is a “I just don’t think that we are where we need to be.” He’s going to take a step forward. He’s asking you to take a step forward. Let’s take these steps together to ultimately respect people.

What Respect for People Actually Requires

If we respected people, we would not ever come to a job with bad porta potties. We would never come to a job without a lunchroom. We would never come to a job where the company dispatched people into an impossible last four months of the project.

We would never overextend workers and crews. We would never hesitate to send somebody to a safe position or location or off the job when they were unsafe. We would never allow people to come into our culture and do bad things that affect other trade partners whom we’re supposed to protect.

We would never just go give people things and give them fish when we should be teaching them to fish. And we would never put our head down when somebody’s speaking in a church meeting or in a public meeting. And we would never be on a Zoom meeting where we’re messing around and not paying attention.

These are the things that will warn us that we have a problem and we just need to get to those basics. This is not a criticism of you. This is not a criticism of Jason. He hopes this stands out as a helpful point: it’s not about obedience. It’s about respect. If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow.

FAQ

Q: What’s the difference between obedience and respect?

Obedience is compliance under constraint or threat of punishment. Respect is honoring another human being because you value them. When you sit up while someone is speaking, it’s not because you’re forced to obey. It’s because you respect the human being who put their heart and soul into preparing that talk. When Japanese culture receives your credit card on a little plate and bows, it’s not obedience. It’s respect woven into the culture. In the United States, we confuse the two and think everything is about being constrained. It’s not. It’s about respect.

Q: Why is giving a handout instead of a hand up disrespectful?

Because if you wouldn’t just write your own family a check when they were struggling, why would you do it to someone else? When Jason’s family went through difficulties, they drove old vehicles, lived in crappy houses, went back to fundamentals with budgets and debt repayment schedules. They didn’t just get handed money. Going back to fundamentals, debt stacking, budgeting, asking family for help, checking government resources instead of just cutting a check is respectful. It gives people a path to success, not just temporary relief. It’s not about punishment. It’s about respect.

Q: How can respect for people answer every decision?

Because every decision can be filtered through one question: what in this scenario ultimately ends up respecting other human beings the most? Fire someone or keep them? What’s most respectful for them (letting them find a cultural fit elsewhere) and for the team (protecting culture)? Send someone home for safety? You respect them by protecting them. Clean porta potties three times a week? You respect workers. Turn people away from the hoist when late? You respect the people who showed up on time. Every single decision can be properly answered with respect for people.

Q: What does it mean that we use people as tools to be expended?

When’s the last time your company dispatched people into a barn burner project at the expense of their families? When’s the last time you saw workers without adequate facilities? When’s the last time you asked a crew to work past capacity in unsafe situations? We use people as tools to be expended and exploited. We dispatch them into impossible projects. We don’t provide lunchrooms or clean bathrooms. We overextend them. We hesitate to send them to safe positions. We allow bad culture that affects trade partners. We do not respect people.

Q: What would our industry look like if we actually respected people?

We would never come to a job with bad porta potties. We would never come without a lunchroom. We would never dispatch people into an impossible last four months. We would never overextend workers and crews. We would never hesitate to send someone to safety or off the job when unsafe. We would never allow bad culture to affect trade partners we’re supposed to protect. We would never give fish when we should teach fishing. We would never put our head down during meetings or mess around on Zoom calls. Respect for people is the foundation of lean, flow, continuous improvement, and operational excellence.

On we go.