Getting What You Need!

Connection, Relevance, and Measurement: What to Do When Your Supervisor Isn’t Supportive

There’s a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from going to work and feeling alone. You’re doing your best. You’re trying to grow. You’re trying to contribute. But your supervisor is distant, no coaching, no communication, no real feedback, no connection. And after a while, the job stops feeling like a place you’re building a career. It starts feeling like something you survive.

Jason Schroeder tackles that exact situation in this episode, and he names a truth many people have heard before but rarely apply with clarity: “People do not quit companies. They quit being bad bosses.” The point isn’t to bash supervisors. The point is to understand what you actually need as a human being and as a professional and what to do when you’re not getting it.

The Feeling Nobody Talks About: Dreading Work When Support Disappears

The most telling sign is dread. Not “I’m tired.” Not “Work is hard.” Dread. The kind where Sunday night feels heavy. The kind where you walk into the office and brace for nothing—no direction, no check-in, no sense that anyone cares if you’re winning or losing. You start asking yourself, “Is it me? Am I not good enough? Do I even belong here?”

Jason’s answer is grounded: it might not be you. It might be that your basic needs aren’t being met in the environment. And when needs aren’t met, motivation collapses even in high-performing people. The system failed them; they didn’t fail the system. If a supervisor hasn’t built a system for connection, relevance, and measurement, their team will eventually feel unsupported—even if the supervisor is technically “smart” and “tough.”

The Real Issue Isn’t “Toughness” It’s Needs Not Being Met

A lot of supervisors pride themselves on being hard. They’ll say things like, “I’m not here to make friends,” or “This is construction; toughen up,” or “If you can’t handle it, leave.” Jason doesn’t argue that work should be easy. He argues that leadership should be intentional. There’s a difference between having high expectations and starving people of the support they need to succeed. You can be firm and still connect. You can be demanding and still be human. You can hold standards and still care. When leaders hide behind “toughness,” what they often create is disconnection—and disconnection costs performance.

Connection, Relevance, and Measurement: The Three Things People Require

Jason gives a simple framework for what people need at work: Connection: I feel seen. I feel known. I feel like I matter to someone. Relevance: I understand why my work matters and where it fits.Measurement: I know what winning looks like today, and I know how I’m doing. When those three things are present, people can endure hard work with purpose. When those three things are missing, even easy work feels draining because it feels pointless and lonely. This is where leaders must be honest: if your team feels unsupported, it’s usually because one of these is missing and nobody has built a system to provide it.

Why “I’m Not Here to Make Friends” Can Still Fail Your Team

Jason addresses the “I’m not here to make friends” posture directly. A supervisor might say it to justify distance. But distance is not professionalism. Distance is neglect. Connection is not friendship. Connection is leadership. It’s checking in. It’s giving feedback. It’s asking questions. It’s walking the job. It’s knowing what someone is working on and what they’re stuck on.

If your supervisor is distant, they may not think they’re doing harm. They may think they’re being “efficient.” But efficiency without connection creates disengagement and disengagement creates turnover and mistakes.

Field Story: The Accidental “J” Text and the Hunger for Connection

Jason shares a story about texting someone by mistake sending an accidental “J.” What happened next was revealing: the person responded quickly, eager to connect, because they were hungry for a relationship and attention. That story sounds small, but it isn’t. It’s evidence of how much people crave connection, especially when they don’t get it at work. People want to be seen. They want to be acknowledged. They want to feel like their effort matters. If your supervisor isn’t providing that, you may feel that hunger as restlessness, frustration, or discouragement. And it can show up as resentment, not because you’re weak, but because you’re human.

How to Coach Your Supervisor: Ask for Communication, Walks, and Mentorship

Here’s the practical pivot Jason encourages: before you make a big move, try to manage up. Managing up doesn’t mean manipulation. It means creating a clear interface. It means asking for what you need professionally and respectfully so your supervisor has a chance to respond.

That could sound like: “Can we do a weekly 15-minute check-in?” “Can we walk to work together once a week so I can learn?” “Can you tell me what ‘winning’ looks like for my role this month?” “Can we review my priorities and how you want me to communicate?” Good supervisors will respond to clear requests. Even busy supervisors can adjust if you make it easy and specific. Bad supervisors won’t. And that data matters.

Don’t Mirror Coldness: Build a Win-Win Interface Instead

Jason also warns against mirroring coldness. When you feel ignored, it’s tempting to withdraw, become cynical, and emotionally check out. But that tends to confirm the supervisor’s distance and create a worse spiral. Instead, build a win-win interface. Be proactive. Communicate clearly. Bring solutions. Make your work visible without bragging. Ask questions. Offer to take things off their plate. This doesn’t excuse poor leadership. It simply gives you a path to stabilize your environment while you evaluate your options.

Signals Your Environment Isn’t Meeting Basic Needs

• You feel dread and isolation more than normal work stress.
• You rarely get feedback, coaching, or even basic check-ins.
• Expectations are unclear, then you get criticized after the fact.
• The “why” behind the work is never explained, so it feels pointless.
• You don’t know if you’re winning or losing because nobody measures or clarifies outcomes.

Measurement: Help People Know If They’re Winning Today

Jason emphasizes measurement because it’s a hidden need. People will tolerate hard work if they can see progress. But if they don’t know how they’re doing, they feel lost. You can help create measurement even if your supervisor doesn’t. Ask for clear outcomes. Create a simple scoreboard for yourself: commitments met, submittals closed, roadblocks removed, zones released, RFIs answered, percent plan complete whatever applies to your role. Then communicate those wins. Not for praise, but for clarity. Measurement turns chaos into progress.

Relevance: Explain Why the Work Matters (Even the Boring Parts)

The second need is relevance. People don’t just want tasks; they want meaning. Jason explains that leaders must connect the work to the mission: why this matters for safety, quality, schedule, and families. When a supervisor doesn’t provide relevance, everything feels like busywork. That’s especially deadly in construction where the work is already demanding. Relevance gives the team energy.

If your supervisor isn’t providing it, you can still build it for yourself: connect your tasks to outcomes. “If I close this RFI, we will protect flow.” “If I clarify this scope, we prevent rework.” “If I improve this plan, we will reduce chaos in the field.” That mindset helps you stay grounded while you decide what to do long-term.

When a Department Transforms: What Intentional Leadership Looks Like

Jason talks about what it looks like when leadership becomes intentional. Leaders build standard work: consistent check-ins, consistent walks, consistent coaching. They measure work. They connect. They explain relevance. And the whole department transforms because people stop feeling alone and start feeling supported. This is the standard you should look for. Not perfection. Intentionality.

Big Decisions: Business, Transfers, and the “Destination vs Escape” Test

Eventually, you may face a decision: do you stay, transfer, or leave? Jason cautions against decisions made purely as an escape. He encourages a destination mindset—moving toward a clear goal, not just away from discomfort.

If you’re thinking about starting a business, switching companies, or changing roles, ask: “Am I running toward a calling, or am I just trying to run away from a bad environment?” Both may be true, but clarity matters. And don’t get trapped by myths: loyalty means staying forever, reciprocity means they’ll treat you how you treat them, fear means you should wait. Those myths keep people stuck.

Ways to Manage Up Before You Make a Big Move

• Ask for a weekly check-in with a clear agenda: priorities, roadblocks, feedback, next steps.
• Request job walks or touchpoints so you can learn and stay aligned.
• Define what support looks like: response times, decision cadence, and communication expectations.
• Create and share a simple scoreboard so your progress is visible and measurable.
• Bring solutions with problems so the supervisor can say yes faster and trust you more.

Connect to Mission

At Elevate Construction, the mission is stability field teams that can plan, schedule, and flow without burnout. Jason Schroeder’s framework fits that mission because unsupported people create instability. When leaders provide connection, relevance, and measurement, teams become more reliable, communication improves, and roadblocks get removed faster. LeanTakt and Takt systems thrive in that environment because people feel safe to surface problems and coordinate handoffs with clarity. If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow.

Conclusion

If you’re not getting what you need from your supervisor, don’t start by blaming yourself or shaming them. Start with clarity.Do you have a connection? Do you have relevance? Do you have a measurement? If not, try managing up. Ask clearly. Create a win-win interface. Give your supervisor a chance to respond. Then make your decision from strength, not fear.

And keep Jason’s truth in your back pocket, because it explains why this matters so much: “People do not quit companies. They quit being bad bosses.” Build your life toward a destination. Choose an environment where you can grow. Protect your dignity. Keep your standards.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my supervisor is simply too busy to support me?
Busy is real, but leadership still requires systems. A 15-minute weekly check-in and clear expectations can change everything. If they won’t do small basics, that’s useful data.

How do I ask for support without sounding needy?
Be specific and professional. Ask for structures, not emotions: check-ins, job walks, clarity on priorities, and feedback on performance.

What if I manage up and nothing changes?
Then you’ve learned something important: the environment may not be willing to meet basic needs. At that point, consider transfers or new opportunities with a destination mindset.

How can I create measurement for myself?
Track outcomes you control commitments met, tasks closed, roadblocks removed, decisions made, and weekly wins. Share them briefly so progress becomes visible.

How does this connect to LeanTakt and Takt?
Flow requires trust, clarity, and problem visibility. When supervisors provide connection, relevance, and measurement, teams coordinate better and remove roadblocks faster, stabilizing production.