Stepping on Toes

Stepping on Toes: Why Two People Doing the Same Thing Creates Conflict

Here’s a secret that’s helped me out for a long time, and I didn’t realize how often it would show up until years after I first heard it. If two people in an organization are doing the same things, they will step on each other’s toes. There will be conflict and you will not be able to build the team. And if you want something to actually get done, one single person has got to be responsible for it.

This sounds simple. But it’s not. And it shows up everywhere.

The Pain of Overlapping Roles

I will tell you a story. Early on, I went to Fiji for Tony Robbins’ Life Wealth Mastery. There was an individual there, a consultant actually, that was really doing a good job. I really appreciated him and everything on the team. He was talking to me about business consulting, that he does consulting for big businesses. He was actually helping a millionaire lady there who had her own business to go to the next level.

I was like, “This is really cool.” He was like, “Maybe I could do some consulting for you.” His consulting was like fifteen thousand dollars a month just for some phone calls. I was like, “That’s probably a little bit out of our price range,” so I didn’t do it at the time. But the initial, “Hey, are we a good fit for each other” call, he let out, which I think probably he intended to do, a kind of a tip or a trick or a secret. He said, “If two people in an organization are doing the same things, they will step on each other’s toes. There will be conflict and you will not be able to build the team.”

I realized, “Okay, yeah, well, that sounds kind of common sense, right? Nobody likes their toes to be stepped on.” So, I didn’t think much of it.

Then over the years, I’ve had different conflicts with Kate, with Kevin, with different people. I’ll be honest with you, it is not their fault. It is not their fault. I’ve gotten sensitive a couple of times and every single time, and I want to make sure that I’m not exaggerating this or that you don’t think I’m exaggerating this, I want you to know every single time I’ve stepped back. And I just, I want you to know I’m not like mature and I didn’t decide to step back. It’s like I’m walking down the street, something’s going on and I’m like, “Oh my gosh.”

And I just have this realization. The universe in my brain tells me, “You’re doing the same things.” And I’ll be like, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this isn’t like some big dramatic thing that I need to freak out over. This is just the same thing that it’s always been. We’re doing the same things.”

Here’s what happens. You and your business partner are both trying to lead the same initiative. You and your PM are both trying to coordinate the same trade. You and your spouse are both trying to handle the same household task. And instead of collaborating, you’re colliding. One person does it one way. The other person does it another way. And instead of complementing each other, you’re stepping on each other’s toes. And resentment builds.

The Solution: Clear Lines of Responsibility

And if we can start to do it as a team, knowing what we’re responsible for and making sure that we are honoring that and that there are clear lines of, I would say, work assignments, because obviously in a business, you know, more than one person is responsible. Like we’re all responsible. So, I can’t just push somebody else out. That’s not what it means to be a partner. I’m going to share, but when it comes to work tasks, how can I make sure we’re not stepping on each other’s toes?

And that principle seems really simple. And probably right now you’re like, “Jason, you just wasted my time on a podcast. I trusted you, Jason, to get on this podcast and to listen to you. And then you waste my time with this stupid inane topic.”

I’m telling you, if you and your PM are doing the same thing, you’re going to step on each other’s toes and get pissed off at each other, maybe even hate each other. If you and your business partner are doing the same things, then you’re going to get pissed off at each other. It’s not going to go well. If you and your wife or your husband or your partner or whatever, and I’m not being insulting when I say that, I’m inclusive of anything you’ve got going on, are doing the same things, you’re going to get pissed off at each other. It’s just a fact.

And so if you want to avoid that, you make sure, “Yeah, okay, we’re all responsible. We’re both responsible for these kids,” for instance, right? “But we are doing different things. I’m in charge of dinner. You’re in charge of taking them to school.”

But if you start doing something that your wife wants done perfectly and beautifully, you ain’t going to be getting along. I’m just going to be telling you that right now, because then it’s not going to be good enough and you’re going to be stepping on each other’s toes.

Here’s the practical application:

• Crew-to-PM: The crew executes the work. The PM coordinates the trades and manages logistics. If the PM starts telling the crew how to install, they’re stepping on the foreman’s toes.
• Super-to-super: One super runs project A. Another super runs project B. If both supers start coordinating the same subcontractor across both projects, they’re stepping on each other’s toes.
• Department lead to department lead: One leads pre-construction. Another leads operations. If pre-construction starts making field decisions without operations, they’re stepping on each other’s toes.
• Business partners: One handles client relationships. Another handles operations. If both start leading the same client meeting, they’re stepping on each other’s toes.
• Leadership team: One leads sales. Another leads delivery. If sales start promising schedules without delivery’s input, they’re stepping on each other’s toes.

Make sure you’re not doing the same things because it’s going to end up in tragedy.

The Second Principle: If Two People Are Responsible, It Won’t Happen

The other thing that I wanted to say, I was listening to a book, a really cool Lean book, Lean Made Simple by Ryan Tierney. And he said that one of the biggest concepts for him is if two people, two or more people are responsible for something, it will not happen. If you want something to happen, one single person has got to be responsible for it.

So that ties into the topic. Not only is it going to get rid of a lot of the contention there, not only is it going to be better from a teaming organization, not only can somebody get some significance, but it also makes sure that the darn thing actually gets done.

Here’s what this means. You can have multiple people contributing. You can have a team working together. But one person needs to be responsible. One person owns it. One person makes the final call. One person is accountable for the outcome. And if you try to split that responsibility between two people, it won’t happen.

Why? Because when two people are responsible, nobody’s responsible. When something goes wrong, each person thinks the other handled it. When a decision needs to be made, each person waits for the other to decide. When coordination is needed, each person assumes the other coordinated. And the task falls through the cracks.

This shows up everywhere. Two PMs are responsible for the same trade coordination. Neither owns it. The trade shows up unprepared. Two supers are responsible for the same lookahead planning meeting. Neither owns it. The meeting doesn’t happen. Two leaders are responsible for the same client relationship. Neither owns it. The client feels neglected.

One person. One responsibility. That’s how things get done.

How This Applies to Teams and Families

So, cruise, PM-to-super, super-to-super, job-to-job, department lead to department lead, business partner, leadership team, make sure you’re not doing the same things because it’s going to end up in tragedy.

And this applies to families too. If you and your spouse are both trying to handle dinner, you’re stepping on each other’s toes. If you’re both trying to manage the kids’ schedules, you’re stepping on each other’s toes. If you’re both trying to coordinate household tasks without clear ownership, you’re stepping on each other’s toes.

The solution? Divide and conquer. You handle dinner. I’ll handle school drop-off. You manage the kids’ activities. I’ll manage the household maintenance. We’re both responsible for the family. But we’re doing different things. And that prevents conflict.

This isn’t about control. It’s about clarity. When roles are clear, people can execute without collision. When roles overlap, people collide even when they’re trying to help. If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow.

A Challenge for Teams and Leaders

Here’s what I want you to do this week. Look at your team. Are two people doing the same thing? Are you and your PM both coordinating the same trade? Are you and your business partner both leading the same initiative? Are you and your spouse both handling the same task?

If yes, stop. Divide the responsibility. Make it clear who owns what. And honor those boundaries. Don’t step on each other’s toes. And if something isn’t getting done, ask: are two people responsible for it? If yes, assign it to one person. Give them ownership. Give them authority. And let them execute.

This sounds simple. But it’s powerful. Clear roles prevent conflict. One person per responsibility ensures things get done. And teams that honor boundaries build trust instead of resentment. As we say at Elevate, if two people are doing the same things, they will step on each other’s toes. Clear roles. One responsibility. No overlap. That’s how teams work.

On we go.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does conflict happen when two people do the same thing?

Because they’re stepping on each other’s toes. One person does it one way. The other does it another way. Instead of collaborating, they’re colliding. And resentment builds. Clear roles prevent this by defining who owns what.

How do I create clear lines of responsibility?

Divide the work. You handle this. I’ll handle that. We’re both responsible for the outcome, but we’re doing different things. Honor those boundaries. Don’t step into someone else’s area unless invited. That’s how teams avoid conflict.

What if two people need to work on the same thing?

One person owns it. The other contributes. But only one person is responsible for the final outcome. That person makes the calls, coordinates the work, and owns the result. Multiple contributors are fine. Multiple owners create chaos.

Why won’t things get done if two people are responsible?

Because when two people are responsible, nobody’s responsible. Each person assumes the other handled it. Decisions don’t get made. Coordination doesn’t happen. Tasks fall through the cracks. One person must own it for it to happen.

How does this apply to families?

Same principle. You handle dinner. I’ll handle school drop-off. You manage the kids’ activities. I’ll manage household maintenance. We’re both responsible for the family, but we’re doing different things. Clear roles prevent conflict at home just like at work.