Bullying – We Just Don’t Do That around Here!!!!

A Painful Memory From the Back of a School Bus

In middle school, a larger, older student, trying to impress the other kids on the bus, began hitting the back of one classmate’s head, daring him to fight back. Nobody spoke up. Not another student, not the bus driver. That classmate, scared and outnumbered, simply endured it.

Decades later, that memory still carries real weight. A simple, well-meaning flick to the back of the head from a colleague during a professional training session years later triggered an immediate, visceral reaction, evidence that some experiences from childhood never fully leave us. That kind of pain does not disappear with age. It shapes how a person sees the world, and for one construction leader, it shaped a genuine, lasting commitment to never let that kind of cruelty go unanswered again.

The Real Pain: Bullying Doesn’t Stay in the Past, It Shows Up at Work Too

The real pain is that the cruelty so many people remember from school hallways and bus rides does not disappear once people grow up and enter the workforce. It shows up on jobsites too, sometimes treated as simply part of the culture: cutting remarks, exclusion, mockery aimed at someone’s body, background, or appearance, all too often dismissed as harmless or just how things have always been done. That normalization is exactly the problem. Cruelty does not become acceptable simply because it happens among adults instead of children, or on a jobsite instead of a school bus.

The Failure Pattern: Staying Silent When You See It

The failure pattern is silence. On that school bus, an entire group of witnesses, including an adult responsible for those kids’ safety, said nothing while someone was being hurt in front of them. That same silence repeats constantly in workplaces, including construction sites, where people witness disrespect, harassment, or bullying and choose not to say anything. Silence in the face of mistreatment is not neutral. It is a quiet form of permission, and it is exactly the pattern that needs to be broken.

A few specific behaviors have no place on a construction site, and they are worth naming directly and without hedging:

• Sexually inappropriate jokes, comments that objectify or demean women, and any form of racial or discriminatory remarks.
• Mockery aimed at someone’s body, weight, background, or appearance, in any direction.
• Deliberate exclusion, yelling, bullying, or making anyone on site feel isolated or unwelcome.

This Isn’t About Punishing Toughness, It’s About Protecting Dignity

It is worth acknowledging honestly that people who bully others have very often been hurt themselves at some point. That understanding does not excuse the behavior, cruelty is still cruelty, and it still deserves a firm, direct response. But recognizing that painful history helps frame the response correctly: firm and unwavering about the behavior itself, while still holding onto basic respect for the humanity of everyone involved, including the person doing the harm.

The Sticks That Mark the Path Home

A university president once led students on a mountain hike through deep snow, marking the safe path with sticks planted along the way to guide them home past hidden crevices hidden beneath the snowpack. Reflecting on it afterward, he made a simple but powerful point: those sticks were not valued for their height, their strength, or how attractive they looked. They were valued entirely for the position they held, guiding people safely home.

People deserve that same standard of respect. Worth is not measured by appearance, background, body type, or any surface trait. It is measured by shared humanity, full stop, the same way those sticks were valued not for how they looked, but simply for being trustworthy guides home.

Why It Matters: Somebody Has to Be the One Who Says Something

This matters because respect only becomes real culture when someone is willing to actually say something in the moment it counts. At a gathering once, a young man watched someone verbally tearing into his girlfriend, pushing her around and demeaning her in front of others. He walked over, stood tall, and said simply: we don’t do that around here. The situation stopped immediately.

A similar moment shows up in a short video that has stuck with many people who have seen it: two kids bullying a classmate, pushing him around and messing with his backpack, until another student stepped in, put his hands up, and said stop, then helped pick up the backpack. That single, small act of intervention is exactly the model worth carrying forward, whether the setting is a school hallway, a party, or a jobsite trailer.

Teach the Framework: “We Don’t Do That Around Here”

A simple, memorable standard is worth adopting directly: we don’t do that around here. It works because it is short, clear, and usable by absolutely anyone on a jobsite, a foreman, a laborer, a project manager, an office administrator, regardless of title or tenure, the moment they witness disrespect, harassment, or bullying.

This standard has to apply universally, without exceptions carved out for seniority, personality, or “that’s just how he is.” A workplace that tolerates disrespect from some people while holding others accountable for it has not actually adopted the standard at all.

A few concrete lines should never be crossed on any construction site, and stating them plainly matters:

• No sexually inappropriate comments, jokes, or behavior directed at anyone, ever.
• No discriminatory remarks about race, background, ability, or any other protected characteristic.
• No mockery of someone’s body, weight, or appearance, in any direction, for any reason.

Turning This Into Daily Practice

Normalize saying something the moment disrespect or bullying is witnessed, rather than staying silent and hoping someone else addresses it. Make it unmistakably clear that this standard applies to everyone on site, regardless of position, seniority, or how long someone has been part of the team.

Extend genuine welcome, not mere tolerance, to everyone who steps onto a project, including women, veterans, people with disabilities, and anyone from a minority or underrepresented background. The goal is not simply avoiding complaints, it is building a site where people are actually glad to be part of the team.

Connecting It Back to Building People, Not Just Projects

None of this happens without leaders willing to set the standard clearly, live it themselves, and hold everyone on a team to it without exception. Building a genuine culture of respect, where “we don’t do that around here” is a real, enforced standard rather than just a poster on the wall, is exactly the kind of leadership that changes how an entire jobsite feels to work on.

If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams build a genuine culture of respect and dignity, one that protects everyone who steps onto the site.

The Challenge

So here is the challenge worth carrying onto your next project: the next time you witness disrespect, harassment, or bullying, be the person who says something, rather than the bystander who stays silent. As Jason put it plainly, “We don’t do that around here.” On we go.

FAQ

Why does understanding that “bullies have often been bullied themselves” matter, without excusing the behavior?

It helps frame a firm response to bullying with genuine compassion rather than pure anger, recognizing the person’s likely history while still holding them fully accountable for their actions. The behavior itself still needs to stop immediately and without exception, regardless of its origin.

What does the story about marking a path with sticks teach about respect?

The sticks were valued entirely for the position they held, safely guiding people home, not for their height, strength, or appearance. People deserve to be valued the same way, based on their shared humanity rather than any surface trait like appearance, background, or body type.

Why is staying silent when witnessing bullying or disrespect considered part of the problem?

Silence in the face of mistreatment functions as a quiet form of permission, allowing the behavior to continue unchecked. Real culture change requires people to actually speak up in the moment, the way both the brother-in-law and the student in the bullying video did.

What specific behaviors have no place on a construction jobsite?

Sexually inappropriate comments or jokes, discriminatory remarks about race or background, and mockery of someone’s body or appearance are all explicitly named as unacceptable, without exception. These standards apply to everyone on site, regardless of position or seniority.

How can a jobsite move from simply “tolerating” diversity to genuinely welcoming it?

It requires actively creating an environment where people from all backgrounds, including women, veterans, people with disabilities, and minorities, feel genuinely valued and included, not just formally permitted to be present. That shift starts with leadership consistently modeling and enforcing real respect, not just avoiding overt complaints.