Are You Putting Yourself Down or Letting Your Light Shine?

You’re at training. Facilitator has you sit knee to knee with another human being. Literally touching knees. In front of another person. Facing each other sitting down. Facilitator asks: look at their eyes. Look at their face. Look at their wrinkles. Look at their expressions. Look at their kindnesses. Look at their smile. You find out you’re really uncomfortable being that close to another human being and staring at somebody in their eyes. This exercise was to see how you show up when in intimate situation. Intimate situation being actually connecting on visual level with another human being. Good activity showing you how to get more comfortable with human interaction. Then they threw surprise. Asked: what did you notice about yourself? Didn’t know they were going to ask this question. What did you notice about yourself? You noticed you moved your shoulders down. Put your head down. Lowered your position so other person would feel comfortable. Somebody might say: that’s not big deal. Fair point. But you had naturally put yourself down so somebody else would feel comfortable. Didn’t know you were doing that with people. So many people in life saying: you’re too much or too energetic or too enthusiastic or too whatever. So you’ve become accustomed to putting yourself down so you can make other people comfortable. That was revelatory moment. You diminished yourself. Diminished yourself to make others feel comfortable. Vowed after that training to be who you are. To authentically be who you naturally show up as. To let things fall as they may. One of best decisions ever made.

Here’s what most people miss. They think being humble means diminishing themselves. Making themselves small. Lowering position. Moving shoulders down. Putting head down. Making others comfortable by being less. So they hide light under bushel. Play small. Act in way that’s not giving other people license to do same. Hold back talents. Don’t share gifts with world. Because think if they shine too bright, others will feel uncomfortable. Different from letting light shine. Being fully who you are. Authentically showing up as you naturally are. Letting things fall as they may. When you diminish yourself, you’re actually taking choice from others of whether they want to like you or accept you or really appreciate who you are. When you let light shine, you give others gift that is you. You unconsciously give other people permission to do same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. That’s not arrogance. That’s authenticity. That’s letting light shine so others can too.

The challenge is most people never learned that diminishing yourself takes choice from others. Never learned that when you move shoulders down, put head down, lower position to make others comfortable, you’re actually preventing them from choosing whether they want to appreciate who you really are. Never learned that playing small doesn’t serve world. That there’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you. Never learned that as you are liberated from your own fear, your presence automatically liberates others. So they keep diminishing themselves. Keep hiding light under bushel. Keep playing small. Keep holding back. Wonder why not fulfilled when answer is they’re not being fully themselves. Not letting light shine. Not giving others permission through example to let their lights shine too.

The Knee-to-Knee Exercise

Was at training, Rapport Leadership International. They take you through process where you sit knee to knee with another human being. You look at other person’s face. Facilitator has you sit like literally touching knees. In front of another human being. Could be male, could be female. Was in front of another male. Facing each other sitting down.

Facilitator asks: look at their eyes. Look at their face. Look at their wrinkles. Look at their expressions. Look at their kindnesses. Look at their smile.

You find out you’re really uncomfortable being that close to another human being and staring at somebody in their eyes. Really what this exercise was for was to see how you show up when you are in not sexual but intimate situation. Intimate situation is being actually connecting on visual level with another human being.

Thought: this is really good activity. Really like this because it’s showing me how I can get more comfortable with human interaction.

But then they threw surprise. Said: what did you notice about yourself? Didn’t know they were going to ask this question. Didn’t even guess.

After that, they said: what did you notice about yourself? Noticed that moved shoulders down. Put head down. Lowered position so other person would feel comfortable.

Somebody might be like: that’s not that big of deal. Fair point. But had naturally put myself down so somebody else would feel comfortable. Didn’t know was doing that with people.

There are so many people in life that are like: oh, you’re too much or too energetic or too enthusiastic or too whatever. So have up until now become accustomed to putting myself down so can make other people comfortable.

That was revelatory moment. Diminished myself. Diminished myself to make others feel comfortable.

Vowed after that training to be who I am. To authentically be who I naturally show up as. To just let things fall as they may. Can tell you, it’s one of best decisions ever made in life.

Are You Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, and Fabulous?

Let me ask you question. Are you letting your light be hid under bushel? Are you diminishing yourself to make other people feel comfortable? Do you realize how brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous you are?

Are you playing small right now? Are you acting in way and showing up in way that is not giving other people license to do same? Are you providing or sharing or showing up with your talents to world and giving other people gift that is you? Or are you holding back?

Are you letting your own light shine so that you can, again, unconsciously give other people permission to do same?

Personal opinion is we have opportunity to be fully who we are and to let others actually have their choice of accepting us way that we are or not. Ultimately, when we diminish ourselves, we’re actually taking choice from others of whether or not they want to like us or accept us or really appreciate who we are.

As We Are Liberated From Our Own Fear

When you diminish yourself, you take choice from others. They don’t get to choose whether they want to appreciate real you. They only see diminished version. Smaller version. Version with shoulders down, head down, position lowered.

When you let light shine, you give others gift. Real you. Authentic you. Fully who you are. They get to choose whether they want to like you, accept you, appreciate you. That’s their choice. But at least they’re choosing based on real you, not diminished version.

And when you let light shine, you unconsciously give other people permission to do same. Your presence automatically liberates others. They see you being fully yourself. Being authentic. Letting light shine. And they think: maybe I can too. Maybe I don’t have to play small. Maybe I don’t have to hide under bushel. Maybe I can be fully me.

That’s how liberation works. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The System Failed You

Let’s be clear. When people diminish themselves and hide light under bushel, it’s not entirely their fault. The system failed by teaching that being humble means making yourself small. Nobody showed that moving shoulders down, putting head down, lowering position to make others comfortable is actually taking choice from them. Nobody explained that when you diminish yourself, you prevent others from choosing whether they want to appreciate who you really are. The system taught be less so others feel comfortable when actually be fully yourself.

The system also failed by not teaching that playing small doesn’t serve world. If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so others won’t feel insecure around you. Are you brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Are you playing small right now? Are you acting in way not giving other people license to do same? Are you holding back talents instead of sharing gifts with world? The system taught hide your light when actually let it shine.

The system fails by not teaching that as you are liberated from your own fear, your presence automatically liberates others. When you let light shine, you unconsciously give other people permission to do same. They see you being fully yourself, being authentic, and they think: maybe I can too. That’s how liberation works. But system never taught this, so people keep diminishing themselves thinking it’s humility when actually it’s taking choice from others and preventing liberation.

The Challenge

Here’s your assignment. Stop diminishing yourself. Start letting your light shine.

Analyze what things you need to be more authentic about. How could you be more of you? How could you let your light shine? Pick one thing. Starting tomorrow, make resolution that you will be more fully yourself.

Recognize when you’re diminishing yourself. Moving shoulders down. Putting head down. Lowering position to make others comfortable. Playing small. Acting in way not giving others license to do same. Holding back talents. Not sharing gifts with world. That’s diminishing yourself to make others feel comfortable. But didn’t know you were doing that with people.

Vow to be who you are. To authentically be who you naturally show up as. To let things fall as they may. Be fully who you are. Let others have their choice of accepting you way you are or not. When you diminish yourself, you take choice from others of whether they want to like you, accept you, appreciate who you really are. Give them real you. Let them choose.

Let your light shine. Are you brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Stop hiding under bushel. Stop playing small. Stop holding back. Share your talents with world. Give other people gift that is you. Let your own light shine so you unconsciously give other people permission to do same.

Remember as you are liberated from your own fear, your presence automatically liberates others. When you let light shine, others see example. Think: maybe I can too. Maybe I don’t have to play small. Maybe I can be fully me. That’s how liberation works. Your light shining gives others permission to let theirs shine too.

We have opportunity to be fully who we are. Current condition is we’re not showing up and showing how brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous we are. Current condition is we are diminishing ourselves. Change that. Be more authentic. Be more of you. Let light shine.

On we go.

FAQ

What is the knee-to-knee exercise?

Sit knee to knee with another human being literally touching knees. Look at their eyes, face, wrinkles, expressions, kindnesses, smile. Really uncomfortable being that close staring at somebody in eyes. Exercise shows how you show up in intimate situation, actually connecting on visual level with another human being. Then they ask: what did you notice about yourself?

What did you notice about yourself?

Moved shoulders down. Put head down. Lowered position so other person would feel comfortable. Naturally put myself down so somebody else would feel comfortable. Didn’t know was doing that with people. So many people saying you’re too much, too energetic, too enthusiastic. Become accustomed to putting myself down to make other people comfortable. That was revelatory moment. Diminished myself to make others feel comfortable.

Why is diminishing yourself a problem?

When you diminish yourself, you’re actually taking choice from others of whether they want to like you, accept you, really appreciate who you are. They don’t get to choose based on real you, only diminished version. When you let light shine, you give them gift that is you. They get to choose whether they want to appreciate who you really are.

What does it mean to let your light shine?

Be who you are. Authentically be who you naturally show up as. Let things fall as they may. Don’t play small. Don’t hide talents. Don’t hold back. Share gifts with world. Give other people gift that is you. Let your own light shine so you unconsciously give other people permission to do same.

How does your light shining help others?

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. When you let light shine, you unconsciously give other people permission to do same. They see you being fully yourself, being authentic, and they think: maybe I can too. Maybe I don’t have to play small. Maybe I can be fully me. That’s how liberation works.