Get them to their Best Self

“You’re Doing Great” Isn’t Feedback

As a project director walking a jobsite, the habit was simple and, in hindsight, hollow: great, great, great, looking good, looking good. Everything technically met minimum clean standards, minimum safety standards, minimum everything, so there was rarely any real feedback offered, just a quick round of compliments and a pat on the back.

Looking back, that habit was genuinely disappointing to the people receiving it, even if it felt generous in the moment. Meeting a minimum standard is not the same as knowing where someone actually wants to go in their career, and confusing the two meant an entire team was quietly being shortchanged on something they actually needed.

The Real Pain: Confusing Praise, Criticism, and Real Feedback

The real pain is that praise, criticism, and genuine feedback for improvement constantly get mixed up, even though they are three completely different things. Praise celebrates a step someone already took. Criticism tells someone they are near the bottom and likely to stay there. Feedback for improvement helps someone take their next step forward, regardless of where they currently stand on that spectrum.

Someone performing excellently does not need less feedback than someone struggling, they need a different kind: guidance toward the specific next step that gets them closer to where they are actually trying to go.

The Failure Pattern: Feedback That Ignores the Destination

The failure pattern is giving feedback, or withholding it entirely, based only on whether someone currently meets a minimum bar, without ever knowing or referencing what that person actually wants to become. A superintendent who has met every standard on the checklist can still be given nothing but generic praise, purely because there was no known target to coach them toward.

This quietly punishes strong performers the most. The person doing everything right gets the least useful feedback, simply because their work looks fine on the surface, even though they may be one specific insight away from their next real breakthrough.

A few signs tend to show up when feedback in an organization has collapsed into just praise or just criticism, and they are worth checking honestly:

• Strong performers consistently receive generic compliments rather than specific, forward-looking guidance tied to their own goals.
• Leaders assume someone doing well “doesn’t need” feedback, rather than asking what their next step actually is.
• Nobody on the team can clearly state what career or personal trajectory their manager is actually helping them work toward.

This Isn’t Nitpicking, It’s a Gift

None of this means constantly pointing out flaws or nitpicking every small imperfection. A powerful training experience makes the real distinction clear: performing at ninety-nine percent and still being told, clearly and kindly, exactly what that remaining one percent looked like was not criticism, it was a genuine gift.

The difference is not whether a correction gets offered. It is whether that correction is tied to where the person is actually trying to go. Feedback rooted in someone’s own stated goals lands as coaching. The identical observation, offered without any connection to their goals, can land as mere nitpicking instead.

The Hoist Operator Who Became a Field Engineer

Here is what noticing someone’s real trajectory can unlock. A hoist operator on one project was simply doing his job, operating equipment, showing up, working hard. A couple of people noticed something more in him and made him an offer: learn English, and we will personally teach you to become a field engineer.

That one conversation changed the entire direction of his career. He is, by every account, wildly successful today. He likely would have kept working hard and doing fine regardless. But it is worth asking honestly: would he have had the same opportunities without that specific, trajectory-aware conversation, offered by people willing to notice him and say something?

Why It Matters: People Are One Conversation Away

This matters because so many people are genuinely one honest conversation away from their next real step, a promotion, a stronger marriage, better mental health, a completely different career trajectory, and that conversation only happens if someone else is willing to notice them and actually say something.

Leaders sometimes talk themselves out of offering feedback, assuming nobody wants their opinion, or worrying about talking too much. In practice, the opposite tends to be true. Naming what someone needs to hear, connected clearly to where they want to go, is rarely unwelcome when it is offered with genuine care.

Teach the Framework: Know the Goal, Notice the Person, Name the Step

Real trajectory-based feedback rests on three things working together. First, know what the other person’s actual goal is, not what you assume they should want, but what they have genuinely told you they are working toward. Second, actually notice people, which requires stepping outside your own performance and self-focus long enough to pay real attention to someone else’s. Third, name a specific, concrete next step tied directly to their stated goal, rather than offering vague praise or blanket criticism untethered to anything they actually care about.

Skipping any of these three steps breaks the whole process. Feedback without a known goal becomes generic. Noticing without naming a next step stays a nice observation that never becomes useful coaching. And none of it works if the person giving feedback never stops long enough to actually see what is happening with someone else.

A few practical habits keep feedback anchored to someone’s real trajectory instead of generic praise or criticism:

• Ask people directly what they are working toward, in their career or personally, rather than assuming you already know.
• Frame feedback as “I noticed this, and if you did this, it would help you get closer to that,” connecting the observation directly to their stated goal.
• Offer this kind of feedback to strong performers just as often as to those who are struggling, since meeting a minimum standard is not the same as having no room left to grow.

Turning This Into Daily Practice

This starts with a simple habit: ask people what they actually want, out loud, and remember the answer. That single piece of information turns every future observation into potential coaching instead of generic praise or unconnected criticism.

Being willing to go first with vulnerability also matters here. Leaders who openly discuss their own goals, struggles, and growth areas tend to create space for others to do the same, whether that means a career goal, a personal struggle, or something as significant as mental health. Normalizing those conversations starts with someone willing to speak first.

Connecting It Back to Building People, Not Just Projects

None of this happens without leaders willing to actually learn what their people want, rather than assuming a compliment or a correction is enough on its own. Building that habit turns ordinary feedback into something genuinely useful for the specific person receiving it.

If your project needs superintendent coaching, project support, or leadership development, Elevate Construction can help your field teams stabilize, schedule, and flow, including how leaders coach people toward their own real goals instead of a generic standard.

The Challenge

So here is the challenge worth carrying into your next conversation with a direct report, a trade partner, or a colleague: find out where they actually want to go, and offer them one specific, concrete step to help get them there. As Jason put it plainly, “We should be providing feedback for improvement based on where people want to go, not on just what they need to improve in the current moment.” On we go.

FAQ

What is the real difference between praise, criticism, and feedback for improvement?

Praise celebrates a step someone already took, and criticism tells someone they are near the bottom and likely to stay there. Feedback for improvement helps someone take their next step forward regardless of where they currently stand, which makes it useful for both struggling and excelling performers alike.

Why do strong performers often receive the least useful feedback?

Leaders often assume someone meeting every standard does not need anything beyond praise, since there is no obvious problem to correct. Without knowing that person’s actual next goal, feedback defaults to generic compliments instead of a specific, meaningful next step.

How is pointing out a missing one percent different from nitpicking?

The difference lies in whether the observation is connected to the person’s own stated goals. Feedback tied to where someone genuinely wants to go lands as coaching, while the same observation offered without that connection can feel like nitpicking instead.

Why does noticing someone’s potential matter so much, using the hoist operator example?

A specific, trajectory-aware conversation, offering to teach him to become a field engineer if he learned English, changed the direction of his entire career. Without someone taking the time to notice him and say something directly, that opportunity may never have come up at all.

What are the three things needed to give real, trajectory-based feedback?

Know what the person’s actual goal is, notice them enough to see how they are progressing toward it, and name one specific step that would move them closer. Skipping any of these three turns the feedback into either generic praise, an unconnected observation, or criticism with no real direction attached.